Making a difference..

What I have recently been aware of is that life is so much more then something that is at face value. And the following examples really show how the choice is ours to see every situation in a new light.

When driving you come across that person who is going 20 under the speed limit and you pass by them flipping them the bird. But what you don’t know is that person had just lost their father and are on their way home from the hospital.

When you are at the grocery store and the clerk doesn’t acknowledge your existence and even ignores you when you ask for assistance. You think, “what a B*tch or a**hole.” But what you don’t know is that they just found out that the baby they were pregnant with, didn’t make it.

When you are out for lunch and the person beside you is yelling and throwing things around and making a “scene”. You think this is inappropriate in a nice restaurant like this. What you don’t know is that person has the symptoms of Alzheimer’s and is re-living a scene from their earlier years at war.

All these scenarios have the ability to have a different outcome. With small shift in perception these scenarios had the ability to transform into something magical.

When driving you come across that person who is going 20 under the speed limit. You follow them and think of them as a angel showing you to slow down and you start to think that you could also slow down in many areas in your life. As you pass by slowly, you smile at them and you see that they have tears streaming down their face. You send them love. And you go on your way with a feeling of appreciation for what just transpired.

When you are at the grocery store and the clerk doesn’t acknowledge your existence and even ignores you when you ask for assistance. You go to the flower department, buy one single flower and give it to them and say, “I hope this helps brighten your day in someway.” As you leave, they feel as though that is a sign that there is hope and that things will get better for them. They smile at you and you leave feeling the ripple effects of a simple gesture that warms your heart to tears.

When you are out for lunch and the person beside you is yelling and throwing things around and making a “scene”. You go over and offer your assistance. The person with the symptoms of Alzheimer’s thinks you are his long lost love and wraps his arms around you. You give them a hug and they snap back into the present and let go and return to sitting at the table with their family. You leave with many thanks from his family and you leave feeling full of warmth. Everyone smiles at you.

Life offers many opportunities to show up and be the best you. From holding the door, to giving someone a quarter for a shopping cart. Take every opportunity to show up as the best you that you can be and see what happens

Relationship Love for Valentines day

Relationships come to the forefront on Valentines day. This is a post about how we can begin with love from the inside, which will then radiate out to all the relationships in our lives.

The true test of our relationship with ourselves is when we get involved in outside relationships. Could our friendships, romantic relationships, family, or co-worker that show up in our life be there to teach us something about ourselves? The real question is are we ready to listen? It is up to us, only us to see our lives in a new perspective, a new vantage point, here is where all the magic lies.
How often do we point the finger at what someone else did, didn’t do, or could have done? How often do we give our power to someone else hoping that they will fill our empty bucket? Putting the power in someone else’s hands doesn’t mean the job is going to get done! Usually it is never really done the way we want it anyways. When we have attachments that someone needs to be a certain way or do a certain thing we set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration. No one out there is responsible to create our happiness for us. Because as long as we are looking out there for the compliments, gifts, cards, words, expressions, reassurance, and praise we are putting our happiness in the hands of others. How freeing would it be to choose from your our perspective to be happy? That everything else that came your way is just the icing on the cake.
How fair is it that we expect people to be someone who they are not? Yet we find ourselves in a daily cycle of attempting to control people and outcomes till we drive ourselves crazy. What would happen if we let go of the expectations that anyone needs to be our anything and love them for who they are? As we learn to authentically love them just the way they are we are learning how to love ourselves unconditionally as well. For everything we love and hate in another is the exact thing that we love and hate in ourselves. Some may think ‘but I am not like that person at all’! Well maybe were not that person in the way that we think. Lets say there is someone at our work who talks and talks and is the center of attention. We are shy and introverted and we can’t stand them. They could be reflecting our need to be heard and seen… So we could control the person at work to not talk so much, but why would we when we can acknowledge our need to be heard and take action on doing that for ourselves. Rather than attempting to control people and circumstances, which only causes suffering.
We are all walking around with mirrors on us. So it is our choice to see this as a fun game to learn and grow within ourselves or we can see it as a living nightmare. Our choice. Our choice to let go of the need to control others and just learn from them, love them. Whenever we are hating or resenting someone, we are hating and resenting a part of ourselves. We can learn to love these parts of ourselves. When we take the time to love ourselves, it is easy to see the beauty in everyone; for we are all pure love expressing ourselves to the best of our ability with the tools that we have at the time.
So lets challenge ourselves to say ‘thank-you’ for every person and situation that show up in our lives. The people that cause the most trigger within us are our biggest teachers to show us how to unconditionally love parts of ourselves.
Thank-you everyone for showing me how to love myself more deeply and completely.

Dear Self

Dear self,

Though many in this world look forth to material things and accomplishments as a way to define who they are as individuals I want you to know that you don’t have to lead by the norm. It doesn’t matter what car you drive, what house you live in, what your occupation is, or even what clothes you wear. Rather it is what truly connects you to your soul, connects you to anothers soul and what makes your day seem light and brilliant. I want you to know that you are loved eternally by me.. I am never judging you or pushing you to be something that you are not. Rather that is the illusion that you are believing about yourself.

I want you to know that I only see your beauty.. I see your beauty in the depth of your percieved distruction.. I see the beauty in your darkest moments. For I understand that you are exploring contrast and it doesn’t define who you are You are forever magnificent in my eyes. If you could see yourself through my lenses you would never have any doubts on the perfection that you are…

I know that everything that happens in your life is for a reason, and I hold you in the place of the solution rather than the problem that you sometimes focus on. I know sometimes you would rather live a life of roses and cherry blossoms but I want you to understand that there much profoundness in the percieved pain. With this depth you are able to have an understanding of the evolution of the consciousness of the world. You know that in your core that the “crisis” in the world right now is actually providing so much more for the future because of it… there is mirror moments where you forget who you truly are which is light, which is love, which is peace, which is infinite.. That is okay.. It is all well. I want you to know though that I am always here. I am not going to go anywhere for we are not seperate. No one is.. Though sometimes that can be a hard concept to grasp in your place of feeling disconnected.

I want to leave you with the utter most joy, peace and happiness, as this is what you are meant to experience in this glorious life here on planet earth. You are on the leading edge What a magical time to be alive. Look at the sun, stars, moon, and all that surrounds you.
You are infinite… You are love.. You are purity.. It is time to step into every aspect of what you are, see your brilliance. I am here always and forever..
Love you,
Self

Letting The Tears Flow

Even though the outside weather is bright, light and brilliant. The internal weather within me is like the first rain on the desert plane. I think to myself that if I let the tears flow that they could fill an ocean, make a sea, and keep the planet nurtured and refreshed. That my tears would reach across the plains and be heard by everyone around the world. I choose to pinch this part of myself off in fear that others may judge or berate this part of me. Yet my soul is in need of a release of all I have believed about myself.

Tears are just tears. Beautiful flowing water. The release of the old, embracing of the new. Singing of the song. Tears are our connection with our innocence to the child that is within that longs to be embraced and be seen. How many times do we cut the lid before there is even a chance for our tears to be fully expressed. How many times are we wiping them away before the outside world has a chance to see them? What would happen if we were to show them to someone, anyone and let them be embraced for the beauty that they are. Why are we so afraid that if we let this part of ourselves be seen that we are unlovable? What if it is in the midst of your mascara running down your face that one sees your beauty for the first time. It is in the witnessing of this authenticity that you feel closer to another, that there is a deeper connection.

There is a tank created in our society that we secretly fill each time we deny our emotions. This tank soon fills up till it reaches the point where it is overflowing and overwhelming. This is when you reach the point where you are on your knees at your home longing for things to be different. Longing for a life that you never thought imaginable. Longing for any sense of release. Though it is in this tight grip, that you find your strength to let go and release the lid. This is when the overwhelming emotions hit like a wave crashing into the ocean rock wall. You fall to your knees and grab your head, press it firmly into the palms of your hand, when you let out the screams that let you know that you soul is alive that make you feel sane again. This is when the tears hit and let you know that you are alive and that there is a point for this reality, this existence. This is the moment that you feared your whole life. The moment turns into the day you finally let your heart shatter. And for the first time you actually felt the warmth of love come through..

So why do we fight? Why do we deny? Why do we tell ourselves that everything is okay when we know that there is a volcano inside that is ready to be unleashed? At the end of the day all you have is you.. In the morning, you look in the mirror and see your swollen face, the face of release, the face of surrender. Can you love him or her?? Can you love yourself in the midst of your own destruction to rebuild yourself as you wish to be. Usually we reach the point where there is no point in making some repairs… we usually we reach the point where we need to rip down our old place of dwelling to rebuild something new. But first we must let go and trust that we can rebuild ourselves. Do you trust that you can rebuild your life? Piece by piece we create, it doesn’t build itself it one day.. but it can take one day to make that choice to start over. It’s okay to let it all go… it is okay to let it all go…

Letting go of Anger

Have you ever felt the anger boiling up inside you like the lava underneath a volcano ready to explode? This is a feeling that most of us are good at suppressing until the ground starts to rumble and the hot lava is released in one quick blast. Whomever is in the way is ultimately running for their lives or fighting back with their own source of lava. What brings us to the point of believing that we must hold on to this much anger and keep just below the surface, ignoring the signs that there is going to be a mass irruption.

What would happen if we gave ourselves the permission to be angry in a way that is therapeutic and healthy. I know I feel the resistance within myself that anger is wrong and bad. That you shouldn’t ever get mad at someone because you are the creator of your own reality, so take responsibility for your life dammit! But just the thought that I am not “allowed” to go there makes it even more powerful. So what does healthy anger look like? Is there even such a thing? Well when we look at the aspect that emotions are just flowing energy, like water going through a hose. When we kink the hose and don’t let it flow there is going to be a rush of emotion all at once to relieve the pressure within the hose. Imagine your house has been kinked for years? Talk about an explosion!! That is usually when we let a little bit out all at once, freak out, kink it off again and within minutes it starts to fill back up!!

I know the thoughts that come to my mind are what are healthy ways to get angry? Obviously I can’t go yelling at the Starbucks baristra for my coffee being wrong or yell at my partner for not taking the trash out. Hmm.. so healthy anger could look like writing down every person you can’t stand in the world and why you hate them so much.. that just doesn’t seem productive either. Maybe it is you stamping your feet like a tiny dancer in one spot till smoke appears? Could end up being one expensive reno repair if you stomp yourself through the floor. Hmmm.. what about bashing you pillow and bed with a bat! That sounds fun, until you aren’t watching what you are doing and smash your ceiling fan down on top of you.. oops. So there must be something.. Picturing your anger in a bubble and allow it to float away, I’m sure that would just piss me off even more. Pardon my french but *u*king bubble!!
So far every so called healthy way to express anger just seems like a disaster waiting to happen!

So we go back to the drawing board… healthy ways of expressing anger. I quite like to go down to the pond by my house and throw huge boulders into the pond. Talk about a hurling action that creates a lot of splash and ultimately not hurting myself or anyone around me, as long as I don’t drop the boulder on my toe. But what I realized as I let the kink out of the hose for twenty minutes of rock throwing I forgot why I was mad and it didn’t even matter anymore. I looked around and started to laugh.. And to think that I was holding on to this anger for so long when all I needed was a good session of rock throwing. Now I want you to know that rock throwing doesn’t always do it for me sometimes I need to go for a angry run punching my fists as I run. Or sometimes I just scream till I can’t scream anymore. This is usually done best when you aren’t in an apartment where people think that there is a robbing going on.. If you live in a populated area screaming into a pillow is always a good buffer.

What I am ultimately writing this blog today is for you to come up with your own healthy ways of expressing anger and sharing them. Making sure first and foremost that they don’t hurt anyone including yourself in any physical, emotional or spiritual manner I just know that when we let the hose go and let the water rush out that life becomes calm again till the next time we kink the hose of anger.

Now we can apply this hose concept to other emotions as well but that will be for another blog session.
All is well You are always eternally loved and supported!